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I
love
bagels
even
though
they
are
one
of
mankind's
most
dangerous
foods,
which
is
something
most
people
don't
know.
For
instance,
there's
actually
no
safe
way
to
slice
a
bagel.
Except
maybe
you
get
somebody
to
do
it
for
you.
I
mean
you
have
no
idea
how
many
people
have
sliced
an
index
finger
in
half
along
with
a
bagel.
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